In 27 hours, I will be unconscious and my head may or may not be rattling to and fro under the siege of sledgehammers, chainsaws, and bolt cutters.  I don't know how they actually do it, and I guess it's better that way.  It doesn't make any sense, but I am more afraid of being unconscious while they are working in my mouth than I was when I had surgery on my internal organs.  I keep picturing how unattractive I am going to look with my eyes rolled back in my head and my mouth held open by some metal bear-trap looking device.  My vanity surprises even me! 

Yesterday, my sister spent her day off running errands for me for our party.  She went to Ikea for votive holders and candles, to Linens n Things for silver buckets for the drinks and a very particular hand towel for the bathroom, to Borders for hair style magazines, and to Vons for an emergency 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper.  And she delivered it all and watched Hayden so I could get some work done.  Hooray for Kate!  Thank you so much!

I am going to Target,  Henry's, and Vons today.  Then, I'll be here worrying about tomorrow and trying to focus on the one positive aspect of the whole surgery.  I'm sure to lose at least a couple pounds without even trying.  What with the bloody gums and the sore jaw and the no solid foods. 

Neil has his final interview today and they told him that as long as this interview went as well as the others he should expect a formal offer by Monday.  I don't think I mentioned that a good friend of ours worked for the same company for 15 years.  She says it was a good company to work for.  Her husband says we should run away screaming.  He said they had absolutely no family life during her years there, and we should turn it down no matter how good the money is.  So, it is very unlikely we will accept the offer (again).  This has really become a pattern for us.  Neil says he's just playing hard to get, turning down job after job, promotion after promotion - holding out for the one.  It's almost romantic.

The next time I post, I will have four less teeth in my mouth.

woe is me

i have to get all four of my wisdom teeth pulled on friday.  at my consultation appointment today, the oral surgeon said, "i'm not going to lie to you - your teeth are buried in there - you are going to be sore....and swollen....oh, and sore....and very swollen."  i'm scared, i'll admit it.  i'm really only afraid of the recovery...of the sore, bloody gums, and no solid foods, and the freakishly swollen face and what not.  i just got over (almost anyway) the worst two week cold of my life, and now i have to have my gums excavated and part of my jaw bone removed.  it doesn't help that i'm now going to be recovering all weekend from the surgery, which means there is only ONE WEEKEND left to get anything done before the party.  i'm hyperventilating. 

Hayden got sick on Thursday - now we're all sick.  Neil has his fourth interview in the never-ending interview process today in LA.  He sounds terrible.  I hope he makes it.  Is there a worse time to be sick than the middle of summer?  The last thing I feel like doing is being  cooped up at home all day - and apparently, Hayden shares my feelings.  We have to miss Gymboree today and grocery shopping will have to wait.  Hayden can't deal with a runny nose, and the thought alone of mucus makes me gag, so it is going to be a challenging day.  He will spend the day asking me "what happened to Hayden's nose?" and I will spend the day chasing him around with a Kleenex with my eyes closed, trying not to puke. 

To pee or not to pee
 
Just for the record, I think potty training is the hardest thing I've tried with Hayden yet.  According to our potty training book, the first things you need are a potty chair (check - we've had it for like a year) and some big boy underwear.  More specifically, big boy underwear the big boy gets to pick out himself.  So, yesterday, we went to Target so Hayden could choose his first package of underwear.  Even though there were underwear with Buzz Lightyear, Spiderman, Thomas the Train, Bob the Builder, and even Nemo, Hayden picked out Hanes boxer briefs - plain gray and black ones.  By the way, tiny Hanes boxer briefs are the cutest thing ever.  The book says to get started, we are supposed to let Hayden have two hours of underwear time a day.  Yesterday, he went for about an hour sans diaper before I heard Hayden say "what happened?" and I head Neil say "that's a lot of pee on the floor."  He sat on the potty and I sat on the step stool right in front of his potty every fifteen minutes yesterday during underwear time.  No luck going in the potty.  Today, we repeated the process.  After our first unsuccessful potty session, he went back to playing, and back to peeing on the floor.  So, we put on another pair of underwear.  We didn't have any more accidents, but he didn't go in the potty either.  Right before his nap, I took him in again.  This time, he peed the tiniest bit in the potty.  Well, actually, more like on the potty seat and on his leg and on the floor right in front of the potty, but a drop or two did make it into the potty.  So, I jumped around and cheered and gave him a sticker.  I don't know if he made the connection or not, but at least it's some progress.  We'll see how it goes tomorrow. 
 
Here's something that made me laugh.  Neil and I were watching the Olympic trials the other night.  They were showing the competitors getting ready for the Men's 400m.  Anyway, they were hopping around getting warmed up and Neil and I were being childish and crude and were laughing about the way their tighter-than-lycra suits look in the crotch.  We were comparing the field, commenting, TIVO-ing back to get a second look at some, shaking our heads in sympathy for others.  So, then the coverage cuts to swimming or something. Like a half hour later, it was time for the men's race.  Hayden came over in front of the TV just as they started running and began cheering, "Go, Bulge Go!"  I almost died.

Some weekends feel like weekends

We had a good one. Saturday, we went to the Padres game. We had box seats in the Union Tribune luxury suite --- right behind home plate. It was fantastic. We were there with the three twenty-something sons of the guy who owns Ikea, the owner of Whole Foods Market, and quite a few other very swanky retail people. We had a great time watching the game (even though we lost) drinking good wine with good food. After the game, they had Tony Hawk and some other skateboarders and BMXers on a ramp at the park at the Park. Hayden was totally into the skateboard thing, and this was the second time he had really shown interest in that sort of thing, so we got him a skateboard after we left. He loves it. I make him wear a helmet and I have to hold on to his hands, but he is pretty stable on it. Amazing.

Sunday, we replaced the part of our yard that used to look like this:




and now it looks like this:



Part of our prep for the party. There's still a lot left to do, but we're making good progress. We're mailing invites today, and I ordered all the rental equipment over the weekend.

We're still undecided on the job change for Neil. He's going ahead with the process. The new company loves him and we had some confirmation about the pay. It is in the range we thought, so it really just comes down to whether or not we want to have a life where Neil has to work every other weekend and a lot of hours in general. Once he promoted to the next level, he'd have a schedule very similar to the one he has now, but it would be pretty likely that promotion would require relocation, and we have already struggled with that whole situation. I wish I knew the right thing to do. I don't know why decisions like these are so hard for us. I guess we just really fear the unknown. Change is terrifying when things aren't that bad. We'll be faced with the actual decision in a couple of weeks. I am just going to procrastinate until then.

This happened in the blink of an eye...really.

When I drive home from the gym, I always see a few retired people out taking their morning walks. I find it so charming to see them walking while listening to headphones. I picture them listening to big band, or jazz, or maybe NPR. But, this morning, it occurred to me...what if they are listening to AM radio? It has suddenly lost its charm.