4

I can't believe it, but Hayden is four years old. Four is a whole new thing. Three is kind of a kid, kind of a toddler, but four is new territory for us. As much as it is talked about, I guess I am surprised at how quickly the time goes by. I have moments where I realize that this little person, the complete center of my universe, will be grown up, and that in the blink of an eye, I will have to love him from here, while he's wherever it is he decides to go. Parenting has given me more than I ever thought was even possible, and it is that very part of it that can also make it the most painful. Knowing you love someone so much, and that your happiness is in seeing their little socks in the drawer, and their art on the fridge, their toys on the shelves makes it unbearable to face the day that those things will only be in your memory and in your box of keepsakes. I wish I could stop time and keep him small and mine forever.

But, he is a boy who has so much to do, and I can't wait to see what he accomplishes. And I have a new daughter on the way. A little girl I will get to love with that same blinding love. We celebrated Hayden's birthday by staying at Disneyland for a couple of days. His party is this weekend, and I swear he seems like he has grown in the last couple of days. This four year old is still my baby....