****Radiohead****

I can only think of one word to describe the Sunday night concert - brilliant (said in an English accent for added effect).




They played almost every song I wanted to hear, surpassed my highest expectations, and made the whole crowd feel like a part of something bigger and more important. As soon as I woke up this morning, I looked to see if I could catch them in Vegas. Neil and I decided we'd pay a few hundred bucks per seat to a scalper. I was so bummed to see that the remaining U.S. shows are all back East, and then it's on to Europe. I even looked into seeing them in London (a bit impractical). I can only hope they extend the tour and come back to the states. It was that good.

And educational...

I learned not to try to show up fashionably on-time (we ended up stuck in traffic and parked in another time zone).

I learned that you should always bring a blanket to sit on even if your ticket says you can't.

I learned that expensive leather jackets and open toed shoes aren't that great when trudging through parking lot bogs and sitting on wet grass.

I learned that I will happily pay eight dollars for a tiny thimble of a cup filled with cheap chardonnay and that Neil will pay eight fifty for a "premium" beer, and that we will do it more than once.

I learned that even I will pee outside if I am trapped in a dirt parking lot for two hours after the end of the show (lucky for me there was shrubbery to hide in and pocket sized packages of Kleenex for emergency toilet paper in my car).

The setlist is here and Radiohead's webpage is here

Sacrifice or Stupidity

Now that Neil is in his fourth week of his MBA program, it is getting easier. It's getting easier to spend Monday through Wednesday nights alone after Hayden is in bed. It's getting easier to tell Hayden that Daddy's at work and that he'll see Daddy tomorrow morning. It's getting easier to survive on Wheat Thins, leftovers, and pretzels for lunch and dinner.

It's getting easier to live this life of:

Alternating Grandparents watching Hayden on pre-designated evenings so I can get some work done.

Neil doing homework on every lunch break and the two hours between the end of his work day and the beginning of class.

Knowing we must keep this schedule up until May of 2005.

And when I get frustrated, I think of the Moms who work days and the Dads who work nights so their kids don't have to go to day care. We have it a lot better than those families, right? Is it judgmental of me to assume that these Moms and Dads don't have college degrees or high-paying jobs? Maybe it is. Maybe not. We do have college degrees. We do live comfortably. Why do we always want more? My secret fear is that in our relentless pursuit of the ideal life we want for Hayden and for each other, we are missing out on Hayden and each other.

Hayden's Favorite Things (Of The Moment)

This hat:


(He put it on by himself!)

And playing with water bottles:


Ah, the simple pleasures in life!

At The Park

I think the park on a September morning
with sandy hands and sandy shoes
a sippy cup and a box of raisins
is, in a word, L O V E .

Top Ten Things I'll Miss About Having an 18 Month Old

10. The way he says "door." Like Paul sings it in "Let 'Em In", "Someone's knocking at the do-oh..."

9. The way he tries to wink, but only ends up batting his eyelashes.

8. That he calls Aunt Katie "Keet."

7. How he grabs my hand and leads me around the house to show me what he wants.

6. Grapes and Peaches are called "grapees and peachies."

5. His maniacal dancing.

4. His attempts at whistling.

3. His Michael Jackson impression ("hee hee").

2. The little mountain of toys (Cookie Monster, Fishy (Nemo), books, etc) he surrounds himself with when he goes to sleep.

1. His obsession with pants!

Songs
There are a few songs that have the power to evoke a memory, a person, a place in my mind.

A short list...

"In My Life" - Beatles. The most obvious one. Our wedding song. It says it all - about better days, hard times, the ones we love, and the ones we've lost. I still cry when I hear it.

"Three Little Birds" - Bob Marley. On a motorhome trip to northern California, ten weeks pregnant with Hayden, terrified I would miscarry again. It became my mantra on that trip as I waited to hit the second trimester of pregnancy. Every little thing was alright.

"Two of Us" - Beatles. Nicole. I'm not sure why. We never chased papers or wore raincoats! Almost every Beatles song reminds me of Nicole in one way or another.

"Never Let Me Down Again" - Depeche Mode. Off of the "Music for the Masses" CD. The very first CD I ever owned. I was the first person I knew who had a CD player on their bedroom stereo. I still have that relic in my garage. The line "Promises me I'm as safe as houses / as long as I remember who's wearing the trousers" always irritated me. What the hell does that mean? Houses does not rhyme with trousers, not even in monotone.

"Darling Nikki" - Prince. Nicole and Andrea. Walking past that funky "castle" house in our old neighborhood. Andrea breaking her parents' bed frame as she jumped while enthusiastically dramatizing the "Chaw, Nikki" part. And the lyrics were very confusing to us as ten year olds. She did what with a magazine? And there was the accompanying scene in the movie. Prince. Piano. Need I say more?

"El Condora Pasa" - Weird, but I always think of driving up the San Pasqual grade when it used to be pretty and green.

"Killing an Arab" - The Cure. Reminds me of Becky...she made up a little dance with me and Nicole when we were in junior high.

"I Was Made to Love Her" - Stevie Wonder. Reminds me of my Mom. My Mom is one of those people who dances crazily while driving if a good song comes on the radio. This was always one of those songs for her.

"Just Like Starting Over" - John Lennon. Mom again. We were going through a Jack in the Box drive-thru the first time either of us heard this song on the radio. I think I was about six. My Mom turned it up so loud they couldn't hear her order at the speaker. It was only a few weeks later that John Lennon was killed.

...this isn't such a short list after all...

"Let Me Roll It" - Paul McCartney. Kate. We all went to the Paul McCartney concert in 2002, but had separate seats. This is one of Kate's favorite songs and when he started to play it, I turned around and saw Kate leaping out of her chair to stand up and dance, even with her broken foot.

"More Than A Woman" - Bee Gees. Joanna. I hate this song. At every party I ever had or went to, Joanna somehow got to the stereo, took off whatever good music was on, and put on this damn song!

"The Dance" - Garth Brooks. Okay, I never hear this song. I had to look up the name on CD Now. But, if I did hear it, it would remind me of Reid and Becky's wedding. This was the song they danced to. Reid sang every word to Beck. At the time, I thought it was a bit too obvious, or cheesy, or something. Now, I see it for what it was...true love...so Reid and Beck.

"Besame Mucho" - The Beatles. Hayden loves this song. He likes to sing the "Cha Cha Boom" part.

There are so many more. I'll have to add to this list.

Introduction

Not a new Mom, but now that Hayden is 18 months old, I actually have a second to think back and realize that I am a Mom. I am his Mom. His life is happening in front of me and I don't want to forget. One month blurs into the next and I can barely remember when he started saying this or when he figured out how to do that. This can be the baby book of the 21st century. This can be the journal I keep. This can be a way to make some linear sense out of this whirlwind time in our lives. This can be the start of something I have forever.

Or, it may be a blank webpage with nothing more than this introductory paragraph. It's hard to say.

Back to introducing myself...my name is Kelly. I am married to Neil. We have had a great time together for the last nine years, and now, we are parents of a brilliant little boy! The baby stuff has come and gone and now we have moved into the exciting world of how to handle nose picking, food throwing, and potty training! The fun has just begun!