The last week hasn't been easy. I was so lucky that my pregnancy with Hayden was so uneventful. After the previous losses, I don't think I could have handled very many bumps in the road. This time, I'm trying to handle things, but it's very, very hard.

After more light bleeding all day Sunday, I went back for another ultrasound first thing Monday morning. The baby is still okay, growing well and the heart rate has been 167 the last three times we've checked. But, I found out that I have what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage. It sounds worse than it is. It's a spot where the sac containing the baby has pulled away from the uterine wall. The gap fills with blood, and this is probably what has been causing the bleeding. Most of the time, these heal on their own, and don't pose a risk to the pregnancy. It has now been four days, and seeing even the tiniest amount of blood, even when you expect to see it, still makes my heart sink each time. My doctor did say my "gap" was small, and would probably be fine, but I can't help but worry. I'm not on official bedrest, but I am not allowed to exercise at all, can't walk any more than just around my house. I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy, and I'm not to drive long distances. The day before this episode started, Neil, Hayden and I rode 10 miles on our bikes, and then Hayden and I were out shopping until 8:00 at night. I carried a million heavy grocery bags in from the car, and I guess that could have really caused or aggravated the situation.

All I want to do is make it to my next ultrasound on Wednesday and see that all is still well. Having my activity limited, though, is making the time really drag. I am beyond bored, and the only thing I seem to be able to do consistently is worry. I really wanted to be able to just go about life this time, and just be pregnant too, like I see so many women doing. I guess it's just not in the cards for me - at least not right now.