The news is good - so far

We had our first ultrasound today. I was terrified something was wrong and that today would be the day we would find out. As the ultrasound technician started, I grabbed Neil's hand and wondered how I would survive the next few moments between when she looked at the contents of my uterus, and either showed us the good news on the monitor, or kept it turned away so we could wait for our doctor to break the bad news. She showed us the screen almost immediately, and I felt some of the anxiety leave me. I saw the little blob on the side of the little sac, and was so thankful to see the little blinking cursor that is the heartbeat. It was 125 beats per minute, which is slower than Hayden's was, but still considered fine. Also, according to their measurements of the baby, I am only 6 weeks and 1 day (due June 6th), as opposed to the 6 weeks and 4 days (due June 3rd) that the dating method using my last period predicted. Neither date really matters since I will be having a repeat C-section and it will most likely be scheduled at the end of May.

I am feeling more confident in this pregnancy, but still too nervous to really count on it. My symptoms are almost overwhelming. I have morning sickness (progesterone posioning) for the first time ever, and as bad as it is, it reassures me. I'm not throwing up, but feeling queasy more often than not, and am grossed out by everything. I can't look at magazines with pictures of or sentences about food of any kind. Certain thought lead to other thoughts, which are then disgusting enough to make my stomach lurch. For example, we drove past a dairy today, I saw the cows, thought about the whole process of getting the milk from cow to store, imagined someone drinking a big glass of milk that came from inside one of those cows' bodies, and wanted to hurl. It also made me very glad I switched to soy milk a few weeks ago.

My stomach is popping ot already, which is unbelievable to me. I think I will be actually showing enough for other people to notice in a couple of weeks. Right now, I just look bloated. With a boob job.