desperado

The last week has been one that I'm sure I'll forget, but I really wish I wouldn't. Neil worked four overnight shifts in a row. As if that wasn't bad enough, there were a couple 4 am shifts mixed in. Yesterday was one of the 4 am days. When he got home, instead of spending the rest of the day together having fun, he had to work on homework for his class tonight for like six hours. He won't be home until 11:00 tonight. He is "off" tomorrow, but has a ton of homework to do, and then has school tomorrow night. And Wednesday. And then work, work, work, on and on and on. I don't know how he is doing it right now. I have developed a strong hatred for one of his professors in particular.

Even when Neil's home, he either has to sleep or study. I caught myself getting pissed off and resentful more than once. This week is not typical. It's not always quite as crazy as this. I'm trying to be supportive, and I think I am doing a better job than some would expect from someone like me. I just have to admit right now that it's hard. And in some ways, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

I am trying desperately to keep myself and Hayden busy without him. My adult interaction is really suffering now. I spend about 75% of my time alone with Hayden, about 10% working (by myself), about 10% at the gym, about 5% with Neil (or other adults), and about 5% working with co-workers. Okay - so that doesn't equal 100% - whatever.

It's a lonely life right now.