Sleepless

The first four weeks with Violet were easy. Too easy. I had a feeling it was too good to be true. I think (hope and pray) we're just going through a little phase right now. We've had good days and bad days over the last week and a half. The worst was on Thursday night. She woke up at 2:30 and didn't go back to sleep until 6:00 in the morning. And, she was fussy pretty much the whole time. Last night was much better, but every time she wakes up now, instead of just sleepily nursing her and waiting to go back to sleep, I start to panic that she might stay up all night again. It's harder this time in a lot of ways than when Hayden was a baby. Neil works a lot more now than he used to, so I have way less help. Also, with Hayden, I could just adapt to his schedule. If he had a night where he was up a lot, I could just sleep during the day when he did. It's not that easy to do when you have a four year old to take care of all day. I just seem to be functioning without naps on four hours of sleep a night (and not usually in a row). She just hasn't been a very happy baby for the last few days. I hope her disposition improves. Soon!

Here is the little dictator...




So, even though I have just complained and complained, I am feeling great right now. Neil's Mom came over this morning and watched Violet and Hayden so I could go to the gym for the first time since she was born. I hope I didn't overdo it since I'm not technically allowed to exercise until after next Thursday, but I was desperate. That hour alone with my Ipod and the elliptical machine, weights, and gossip magazines was exactly what I needed. I can't believe how much it improved my state of mind and how quickly it restored a sense of normalcy. And, my mother in law is coming back Monday so I can go again. Hooray!!!

It feels so good to have a little bit of my life back.