3 Weeks from today

So, I am going back and forth between excitement and fear. I don't know exactly what I am afraid of, but I think it has to do with the fact that life is about to change drastically, and there's no way to know just what those changes are going to be like. I can't believe how close we are now. I had an appointment yesterday and my OB did an ultrasound to get an idea of the baby's size. I felt like baby Violet was bigger than Hayden at the same point in pregnancy, but I still expected her to be around 5 lbs since I have three weeks to go (and my C-section is a little over a week before my actual due date). This baby girl is already an estimated 6 lbs 5 oz, which seems huge to me. That actually puts her in the 66th percentile, so only slightly bigger than average. If I were to go to term, she probably would be a little bigger than Hayden's 7lbs 9 oz, but since we'll be early, she'll probably be very close in size. It just seems weird to me to have a baby bigger than the norm since Hayden has always been so small for his age. But, it's only an estimate, and Hayden was average at birth even though he's been on the small side ever since.

I guess it also freaks me out because I know that at that size, if she were born today, she would be fine. I have friends whose babies were smaller than that at birth (and not born that early) and were perfectly healthy. So, now I am imagining this newborn-sized baby in my belly, and man, that is a freaky thing. We have just about everything ready. I washed most of the clothes she'll wear her first few weeks and started packing the bag for the hospital. I am amazed at how good I am still feeling. Today, at the gym, I did cut my cardio time down a little because I was having contractions on the treadmill, but nothing serious or scary.

In 21 days (or less), there will be a new person here, an extension of our little family. I still can't quite believe it.