The Sequel

We like to have a plan, and so we planned to start "trying" for our next baby next Christmas. Up until a few months ago, that seemed a little too fast. I fully enjoy the order in our house now that Hayden is nearly two. Suddenly, I find myself longing to be pregnant again. I can barely remember what it was like to hear the heartbeat, to feel a kick, to wonder who was inhabiting my uterus. From the time you really feel secure in the pregnancy until the end, it's like being on the verge of a fantastic discovery...every day a little closer to seeing the mystery revealed. I miss those days.

There is something so serene about a tiny little baby sleeping on your chest - even if you are up at 3:30 in the morning for the twenty third straight day, watching the second airing of the night's Conan O'Brien show. I knew this would happen. I am trying to remind myself of the sheer sleep deprivation, the torture of early breastfeeding, the baby vomit stains on every article of clothing you can squeeze your bloated body into. Oh, and of course labor. Though, this time I'll be "lucky" and only have to deal with the C-section.

This is how the universe works. Life is quite simple once you've adjusted to a single child in your life. Things are calm, predictable, stable, just about perfect. But, the universe is full of chaos, and our biology leads us to be accomplices in the disorder. I look forward to filling our lives with a little chaos in a couple years.